Where'd You Go
by AbayJ
Summary: Two couples deal with the reality's of life and how they can get past of so much pain and so many years of lies. Now have a beta, revised chapters, and updated 6/29/08
1. Prologue: Where'd You Go

**Title**: Where'd You Go  
**Author**: AbayJ aka Ashley Marie  
**Disclaimer**: I own nada, Hold Me belongs to Savage Garden  
**Rating**: K to M  
**Genre**: Romance/Drama/Angst/Songfics/WIP/AU  
**Fandom(s)**: J-Lu & Journey (Hints: CarSon, CarJax, LuSam, Skate, Liason, LnL3, Jaxis, NiCo, LnL2)  
**Archiving**: Just ask.  
**Summery**: Two couples deal with the reality's of life and how they can get past of so much pain and so many years of lies.  
**Author's Note**:Okay, this is the revised Prologue and I want to thank Tiffany for all her work! Thanks so much! Any remaining mistakes are all my own!

* * *

**Prologue: Where'd You Go **

_Where'd you go?  
I miss you so,  
Seems like it's been forever,  
That you've been gone_

It was way to dark and it was way to painful to open my eyes and let light in. Not to mention, I knew what I'd find. I'd find a hell of my own making, well not exactly of my own making, more like of my enemies making. I just lived it, not because I wanted too, but because I had too. Shaking my head, I wince at the pain and sit up. Deciding laying here would just make the day go slower than it already did. Opening my eyes, I look towards the bar covered windows. I had found out they were impassable. After hours of trying the day I arrived here, I had figured it out. All I did was create more blisters on my hands.

Walking over to it, I look outside and saw the ocean lapping against the rocks of the shore. It was all I ever saw, I never saw people, animals, or any other signs of life. All I saw were the tides. It was something I guess. Shaking my head, I walk away from it and looked at the door that was barred shut as well. There was just a little opening that a tray slid through with my daily food and drink. Along with the newest paperback novel and a few magazines that I enjoyed reading.

Who ever was on the other side of the door had asked me my likes during my first few weeks here. His voice was the closest to human contact I got. Besides the magazines and TV. I knew in the next few minutes, the tray would come through the slot, and so would the voice. It was a daily routine that played out every morning at 9. And right now, it was 8:57.

It was crazy that I could get so excited over it, but I guess that was what 3 years of only that as companionship would do to a girl. Walking towards the mirror, I took the bottle of water off and sipped it and then reached for the brush and combed it through my long blond hair. It was much to long but when a pair of hair scissors had came through the slot, I had been to scared to cut much off. Most of the time, I kept it wrapped in a bun or pony tail. Shaking my head, I begin the process and finish with a tight and secure pony tail and the end of it reaches past my ass.

I turn my head and look at the clock and smirk when it hits 9 and I hear the knock. Walking over to the door, I slide down until I was sitting right next to the slot and lean my head against the door. Waiting for the voice.

"Good Morning Miss Matthews..."

It came and I only smiled. This voice was my salvation but I knew one day, someone would find me and I'd have to say goodbye, and that didn't bother me. This man was why I was here, he was the reason I was stuck in here. I knew that wasn't true, he could let me out, but he hadn't. Right now though, he was my way of survival. I had to survive this. He was the reason I didn't go crazy.

"Hello Tommy, how's the wife."

I ask and started to pull in the tray from the slot, remembering Tommy was my survival and that sooner or later, someone would save me and I'd be home again.

_She said "Some days I feel like shit,  
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,  
"I don't understand why you have to always be gone._

* * *

_I get along but the trips always feel so long,  
And, I find myself trying to stay by the phone,  
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone,  
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,  
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,  
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,  
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',  
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,  
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"_

"Dammit, answer the phone."

I say with a breath and I just get the voice mail again. Lifting my arm, I threw my phone against the bricks of the fire place in front of me and fall onto the couch. Feeling all this pain fall over me and envelope me like a dear friend that paid a visit much to often. It had been to long, much to long since I've heard from him and since he had gotten on that plane, my stomach has been a twisted net of knots and worry. I was sure at my 21st birthday which was only three short weeks away, I'd have a stomach full of ulcers, all because of him.

"You should have gone out for the soft ball team, cupcake."

I hear the voice and turn my head to smile at my father, the one man, besides my brothers, I knew would never let me down, as long as they could help it that was. Shaking my head, I clean those thoughts out of my head again, because right now, they were giving me a headache. Competing for attention.

"That was a fluke, much to big of a target."

I mummer and put my head in my hands and then before my face touched it, I notice the ring on my left hand and I felt the urge to go throw up. It had been 2 months ago my life had taken a dark turn. And there was no way I could go back on the promise I had spoken, if I did, my mother, my father, and my brothers would suffer. Something I wouldn't allow to happen, even if I had to lay in the bed with the devil. They would have done the same.

"Are you alright?"

My dad asks and I turn my head, giving him my best smile and nod. Dropping my left hand and putting my chin in my right. I wouldn't let him know how much I was hurting, or how much I regretted my decision or he'd do the heroic thing and make me leave Logan and tell Scott Baldwin to kiss my ass. Nope, I wouldn't tell him because I couldn't let that happen, so I lied. Something I was getting better and better at doing.

Every word from my mouth was a lie; I was living a lie, except when I was with him. Then I could be me, instead of LuLu Hayes, I was LuLu Spencer. Survival, this was about survival though. I could keep this up, I could survive this and make sure my family was in good hands. I could and I would, so I turned to my father again and gave him a large smile.

"I'm fine, Logan just won't answer my call."

It was one more lie, one more on top of a thousand, and it wasn't like it would hurt anymore then it already did.

_I miss you so,  
Seems like it's been forever,  
That you've been gone.  
Where'd you go?  
I miss you so,  
Seems like it's been forever,  
That you've been gone,  
Please come back home..._


	2. Part 1: Dance, Dance

**Title**: Where'd You Go  
**Author**: AbayJ aka Ashley Marie  
**Disclaimer**: I own nada, Dance, Dance belongs to Fall Out Boy.  
**Rating**: K to M  
**Genre**: Romance/Drama/Angst/Songfics/WIP/AU  
**Fandom(s)**: J-Lu & Journey (Hints: CarSon, CarJax, LuSam, Skate, Liason, LnL3, Jaxis, NiCo, LnL2)  
**Archiving**: Just ask.  
**Summery**: Two couples deal with the reality's of life and how they can get past of so much pain and so many years of lies.  
**Author's Note**: Next chapter in my story. I sat up the two main characters in the first chapter, Courtney and LuLu, and in this, I verge into the others of this story.  
**Author's Note Two**: This chapter has been revised and beta-ed. I just want to thank to Tiffany for all of her work. Thank you so much! All remaining mistakes are my own!

* * *

**Part One: Dance, Dance**

_She says she's no good  
with words but I'm worse  
Barely stuttered out "A joke of a romantic"_

I paced the floor as I looked at the door. I had woken up with a shock, a dream had came to me and it told me I had to be by the phone or I would miss something important and I wasn't about to let that happen. I had had dreams like these before but I hated having them because they always meant something bad. Something I couldn't stop or help which gnawed at me. I was nosey, very nosey and I always put my nose where it didn't belong, it was part of who I was.

Taking a calming breathwhich had no affect, I sat down next to the phone and stared at it. In my dream, it rang and my best friend, my dead best friend, had been on the other side, which was crazy. People couldn't call from the dead, I mean I believed in ghost but this was going a bit far. I had even tried to ignore the dream for an hour and stared at my husband, willing myself to fall asleep but it had done no good. Something just kept eating at me and finally, I had given into it and here I was. Staring at the phone, waiting for my dead best friend to call.

I think about going upstairs but I stayed where I was. My brain and heart decided they were going to fight and my conscious would have nothing to do with it. Leaning back against the couch, I grab the remote and flip on the news. CNN was a beautiful thing, and I watched it, seeing all of the pain and disaster in the world. It gave me a sense of calm.

"Carly, what are you doing up?"

I hear the voice of my husband and I turn in my seat and wave to him.

"Go back to bed Jax, I'm fine."

I say and lean back against the seat and glue my eyes to the TV. The only person that knew about my dreams was Jason, mainly because he was the one I trusted the most in this world. I wasn't about to tell my husband because I knew; I knew he'd think I was crazy. I push those thoughts away again, I squint my eyes at the stocks that were scrolling at the bottom of my screen. Deciding to think about my stocks and my boy's college education instead of the phone call or dream.

_Stuck to my tongue  
Weighed down with words too over-dramatic  
Tonight it's: "It can't get much worse."  
Vs. "No one should ever feel like..."_

* * *

_I'm two quarters and a heart down  
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds  
These words are all I have so I'll write them  
So you need them just to get by_

"Is Jake up?"

I ask as I walk into my penthouse, the woman who was the mother of my son was sitting on the couch, a basket of clothes on the table in front of her and I try to block a memory that rose to the surface. It was of another woman doing the exact same thing but she was a blond instead of a brunette and she hadn't been folding baby clothes, instead she had been folding her clothes. Shaking my head, I put my coat on the desk and my gun inside of it.

"No, you just missed him."

She mummers and scans the TV and when she didn't see anything interesting, she looked back down at the clothes in her hand and I shake my head. Heading towards the kitchen and opening the fridge, pulling out a long neck, and leaning against the counter. Me and Elizabeth living together had been an idea of hers for Jake's best interest and the more and more it continued, the more and more I hated it. There were no feelings of the romantic kind left between us but part of me knew it was worthdealing with. I was with my son and that was what was important. Taking another long drag from the beer , I look up at the ceiling.

I was locked in a prison of my own making but as long as I had Jake, I would deal. I had before and I would again. Straightening, I take the last long sip of the beer and then toss it in the trash. Walking towards the living room again, I say nothing and start to head up the stairs.

"Don't wake him."

I hear the voice and I turn and I see her eyes not looking from the TV and I nearly groan. It felt as if I was living with my mother instead of the mother of my son. Shaking my head, I continue to walk up the stair. Opening the door to my son's room, seeing he was sound asleep and I think about going in there and picking him up but I wasn't looking for World War Three, so instead, I head towards the bathroom and take a shower. Trying to wash something that couldn't be washed away. At least, I knew if I stayed in here long enough, I'd be tired enough to just fall into my bed and go to sleep. And dream of another time and of another place, where happiness didn't seem so far away.

_Dance, Dance  
We're falling apart to half time  
Dance, Dance  
And these are the lives you'd love to lead_

_Dance, this is the way they'd love  
If they knew how_

_Misery loved me_

* * *

_You always fold  
Just before you're found out_

Carly looked at the time, it was nearly three A.M. now and she knew she should go to bed but she still didn't move, instead she flipped from CNN to TV Land. Smiling when Lucy's famous "_Well_" came through and leaned back against the couch. Pulling the blanket from the side and wrapping it around her. Glancing at the phone one more time.

"If someone is going to call, then call."

She says and then shakes her head and looses herself in Lucy's crazy plan, wondering if she tried it, could she make it work.

_Drink up its last call,  
Last resort,_

_But only the first mistake and I..._

* * *

_I'm two quarters and a heart down  
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds  
These words are all I have so I'll write them  
So you need them just to get by_

I looked at the door and willed it not to open but I knew it would as soon as I heard the footsteps but that didn't stop me from wishing it was my neighbor instead of my husband. Shaking my head, I flipped on the TV, landing on an old re-run of I Love Lucy and I held my phone in my hand. Still waiting for the call because I was a fool. Shaking my head, I try to lose my head in Lucy's latest hair brain scheme and the voices of Ricky saying "Lucy, yous gots some explaining to do."

"Well, now there is my lovely wife."

A voice tears me from my peace and I look at him and roll my eyes because I wasn't in the mood for him or his drunken blabber. Shaking my head, I just look at my phone for a moment and then back at him and how he stumbles towards me. I raise my hand up to stop him.

"If you want something, I'd suggest going back to your other slut, because tonight, you're getting nada from me."

I say harshly and lean closer to the couch. Folding my arms on the arm of it and laying my head on it. The phone against my skull so I could feel it vibrate the first time it did. Trying to zone out again, I look back at the screen but when I hear more foot steps, my face drawn back to Logan. He gave a laugh and shook his head.

"Jealous are we?"

He asked and I wanted to throw something but I didn't, because I wasn't jealous. How I could be jealous of someone I didn't love, because I didn't. Any feeling I had felt for him died when he asked his father to get me back for him. He was worse then Scott, at least Scott had been man enough to try to get my mother back himself and had fought my father instead of hiding behind someone else.

"No, I'm not, I'm just not in the mood."

I say, my voice as even as I could muster with this anger flooding my veins.

"Oh, no your jealous because I went and got it from someone who gives it freely instead of begging for it from someone who thinks it's a favor to her husband if she gives it up to him."

And this time, I hadn't been able to control my anger and I had picked up the ash tray that had been on our end table. It was one of my bad habits now, smoking. I knew it was bad for me but sometimes it was the only damn thing that could calm me. I picked it up and aimed it at his head and he just ducked and laughed and I felt even more like a possession than his words had made me feel like. And in a way, I was his possession; I was the reward to the Prince after all the king's pawns had iallen in place. I was something that he wanted but didn't love. Holding back sobs and tears, I stare at the tv, not blinking and trying to calm the pain. Wishing he would call so I could vent and sob out all of the pain that he could make go away.

"Yeah, you're jealous."

Was the last thing I heard before I heard the bedroom door slam and the tears began to fall.

_Why don't you show me  
The little bit of spine  
You've been saving  
For his mattress, Love_

* * *

_Dance, Dance  
We're falling apart to half time  
Dance, Dance  
And these are the lives you'd love to lead  
Dance, this is the way they'd love  
If they knew how  
Misery loved me_

I looked at the man who was my father and I felt his rage, his rage at me as he lifts his hand to punch me again. I was used to this, but I was done, I was done dealing with it. So I reached my own hand up, took his fist and twisted it behind me and then pushed him away from me. I wasn't the weak child he thought I was, I was the man he could never be.

"Stay the hell away from me."

I say to him coldly and reach down to grab my coat, and shrug it back on. I had to get back to PC. I had things that were unfinished and I had someone waiting for me, someone who cared about me, unlike the man in front of me. I still felt a sense of duty to the man. I shouldn't but I did. Heading towards the door, I stop when I hear his voice, and some where along the line, it had taken a cold glint to it.

"You should have died instead."

It didn't hurt anymore because I was used to it. He had always told me I should have been dead instead of my mother. I should have been taken away instead of her but she had risked her life to save mine. My great curse. Shaking my head, I look at the man and tilt my head to the side.

"I know Pop, I know..."

I say with a sarcastic edge and keep going towards the door but onceagain I pause when I hear him. This time a sense of dread falling over me, something cold gripped my heart as if it was going to squeeze the life out of me.

"Since I lost the woman that was my everything, maybe you should loose the same."

He says and I turn my head, he was serious and his eyes were as cold as ice. He wouldn't hurt her, I wouldn't let him. I wasn't going to fall for his threats. I had too many times before and tonight, I finally became the man I wanted to be. She had helped me in that sense and I wasn't going to go back. No matter what the old man said.

"You come near her Pop, and then you'll be the one sleeping with the fishes."

I say harshly and I walked out, ignoring the shots and curses thrown my way, heading towards the door in a dead run. Knowing I needed to get to LuLu before my father really thought of doing what he said he would.

_You always fold  
Just before you're found out  
Drink up its last call,  
Last resort,_

_But only the first mistake and I..._

* * *

_I'm two quarters and a heart down  
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds  
These words are all I have so I'll write them  
So you need them just to get by_

I was lying on the bed, watching some soap where a wedding was taking place and I remember my weddings. All of them had something special about them. AJ's and mine had been peaceful and magical, the start of my life. Jason and mine had been beautiful and everything a wedding should be. Happy, and only with our family. Jax and mine had been a large white wedding, like any little girl would dream of. They all had been perfect. Closing my eyes, I think about them and the happiness I felt with all of them.

Then I heard a large boom and I was thrown from my bed. My mattress landing on top of me and later I would know that was what saved me. Once I felt it was safe to come up, I looked up from where my mattress was and looked around. My prison was gone and all that was left was a few walls and bodies bloody and battered. Pushing the mattress off of me, I get up and look around. Stalling for a moment not quite believing what was going on. I knew I had been on a high floor but now I was on the ground. Walking towards the outside, I walk on to the real earth. Seeing the building had collapsed into a hole and I take a breath. Knowing Tommy and his family were down there.

I stop the pain and I see people coming up the hill the house was one. Tommy had been my survival, that was all, and this was my chance at Freedom. Looking around my room that was barely there, I grab a knapsack and begin to fill it with things from my room. I gabbed three bottles of water and a little food. Then I look at some of the bodies. I knew it was wrong, but I had no choice. Digging in one man's pocket, I pull out a wallet and grab the credit cards and the money. Canadian money. At least I had a clue where I was. Putting that into the knapsack, I see the people advancing and I knew I had wasted enough time. Putting the knapsack on my shoulder, I open the closet door and it falls from the hinges. Grabbing a change of clothes and a pair of shoes I look at my prison, then I run.

I run down the hill and people who had been coming up, look at me, some tried to stop me but I pushed forward, mumbling something about my child. They let me go after that and I continued to run. Down the hill and into a city I didn't even know existed. Once I reach level ground, I take a breath and look back up the hill, seeing fire trucks and ambulances make their way up.

I turn and head towards the town center. There were a few shops but not much. I continue to walk until I see something that was almost like an Oasis. A phone. Smiling, I run towards it and I try and think who I could call. I had always been horrible with numbers but one that stood out was my best friend's. Taking a breath, I dial the collect number and tell the operator who I was trying to reach. Then I heard the ringing and I felt as if I was saved.

_Why don't you show me  
The little bit of spine  
You've been saving  
For his mattress, Love_

* * *

_Dance, Dance  
We're falling apart to half time  
Dance, Dance  
And these are the lives you'd love to lead  
Dance, this is the way they'd love  
If they knew how  
Misery loved me_

It was now four A.M. and I knew I had to go to bed or I wouldn't be able to get the boys up for school. Dream or no dream. Standing up, I head towards the bathroom and open the cabinet. Pulling out a bottle of sleeping pills, I took two out and went back out into the living room. Pouring myself a glass of water from the bar. My hand lifting to meet my mouth but before it reaches my lips, I hear a ring and the pills fall to the ground as I run for the phone.

"Hello."

I say as soon as I answer. I hear a woman come on, asking me if I would accept a collect call and I said yes, probably a bit to frantically and when I heard the voice come on the line, I fell to the seat.

"Carly, Carly are you there?"

It said and I begin to cry because I knew it was her.

"Courtney..."

I say in a half laugh and half cry.

_Why don't you show me  
The little bit of spine  
You've been saving  
For his mattress  
(mattress, mattress)  
I only want sympathy in the form  
Of you crawling into bed with me_


	3. Part 2: 4 AM Forever

**Title**: Where'd You Go**  
Author**: AbayJ aka Ashley Marie**  
Disclaimer**: I own nada, song, 4 AM Forever, belongs to the Lost Prophets.**  
Rating**: K to M**  
Genre**: Romance/Drama/Angst/Songfics/WIP/AU**  
Fandom(s)**: J-Lu & Journey (Hints: CarSon, CarJax, LuSam, Skate, Liason, LnL3, Jaxis, NiCo, Cassio, LnL2)**  
Archiving**: Just ask.**  
Summery**: Two couples deal with the reality's of life and how they can get past of so much pain and so many years of lies.**  
Author's Note**: Sorry for the wait, for some reason, had a case of writers block though half the chapter was done. Anyway, heres the next chapter. Unsure about this song too but I was listening to it as I wrote the last part and I thought it worked.**  
Author's Note Two**: This chapter has been revised and beta-ed. I just want to thank to Tiffany for all of her work. Thank you so much! All remaining mistakes are my own!

* * *

**Part Two: 4 AM Forever**

_Yesterday I lost my closest friend  
Yesterday I wanted time to end  
I wonder if my heart will ever mend  
I just let you slip away_

_4 AM forever_

When I hear her voice, I hear her half laughs and her half sobs and I felt the same way. She was my sister in every way that matter, even if it wasn't in blood. Taking a breath, I knew if I didn't get this out, I'd burst out crying. I needed her; she was the only one who could help me now. I had to get home. Soon and fast. Taking a breath, I start.

"Carly, I need your help okay, I'm in Canada some where, I'm not sure where yet, but I need you to get someone to trace this call, and then you have to come get me. Okay, I need you to help me before someone gets wise that I am gone."

I say it in a rush and I know most of the things I said were probably gibberish but I know she understands. WE understood each other on some level most people didn't. Taking a breath, I look around for clues that someone was watching me, luckily, most people's attention seems to be on the top of the hill where the house had been swallowed by the sink hole. I listen closely, listening for any sign of life still on the other line and I almost thought she had hung up when I heard her voice.

"I...I can't believe your alive."

Was all she said and I smiled, because I knew what she thought, my captors had told me my family thought I died after I gave birth to my son. Part of me almost wished that was true but now, I was more then happy to be alive because I knew soon I'd be back in my family's arms. Taking a breath, I look around and smile for the first time in a long time.

"I am, and now you have to get me back to Port Charles, where my son is and where my family is."

I mummer and I heard her smile over the line, and I heard the sniffles and the tissues coming out of the box. I knew she was trying to get herself under control.

"You're right...I'll be there Courtney, as soon as I get this call traced, I'm on the next flight and you're coming home with me. You...You just stay where you are."

She mummers and I nod, as if she could see me because at this moment, if I said one word, I knew it'd be broken and full of tears because I was so close, so close to being where I was supposed to be.

"S...Stay where you are okay, and don't worry, who ever did this will pay Courtney and they'll never get their hands on you again."

She says fiercely and I knew that was true. Most people would have hung up if their dead friend had called them but not Carly. She had known and believed it was me from the beginning and she had no idea how much that meant to me. That she believed me without a shadow ofdoubt and here she was about to risk her own life to save mine.

"I will Carly...I promise."

I mummer into the phone, getting my voice back to normal and I get ready to hang up and I knew Carly was going to do the same because she needed to get this call traced. But before she does, I stop her.

"I love you Carly."

I whisper and I heard her mixture of a laugh and a sob again.

"I love you too."

She whisper and we both hung up at the same time and I look around the town again, trying to figure out where to go from here. I didn't want to go far from the pay phone, so I looked around it and I spot a small bar. It would have to do and I was sure they had some food and drinks my stomach was craving, plus a bathroom I could run into and change. I begin to walk towards it.It felt as if my life had started all over again.

_Maybe I'll never see you smile again  
Maybe you thought that it was all pretend;  
All these words that I could never say  
I just let them slip away_

_4 AM forever_

* * *

_Why don't you hear me when I'm calling out to you (to you)  
Why don't you listen when I try to make it through (to you)  
Goodbye, goodbye  
Goodbye, you never know  
Hold a little tighter_

_4 AM forever_

I lifted my head from where it had been, my eyes felt as if someone had thrown salt inside of them. Sighing, I sit up and rub my palms against my eyes, feeling my cell phone drop into my lap as I do. Once I could blink without wincing, I pick it up and look at it. Feeling the urge to throw it again, seeing as it was blank, a reminder I had nothing waiting for me. Leaning back against the couch with a thud, I sigh. My worry eating my stomach and I felt I might throw up.

Taking a few deep breaths though, I stop the urge and just lean forward, putting my head in my hands. I needed to see him, I needed to know he was alright but it was as if I wouldn't get that chance tonight. Looking up, I see the clock above the table and reading it to be 4:30 AM. Getting up once more, I look at the door where my husband was laying and I could hear snores coming through which meant he was 'dead' to the world. I would have just preferred dead at this point. Shaking my head, I go to the kitchen and get my purse. Opening it, I pulled out my credit card and ID.. Putting them in my Sponge Bob PJ pants, I grab my car keys.

I needed to get the hell out of here, away from him. Away from my tears and worry. I would go see Spinelli or Carly or my dad. Anyone. Anyone who could take my mind off my worry. Going to the fridge, I grab a bottle of water for the trip and then head to the bathroom. Once I finish, I stop at the mirror and sigh. Looking at the red in my eyes. Closing my eyes, I lean against the sink and turn on the water. After I finish washing my hands, I cup my hand beneath the lukewarm water and splash it on my face. Ignoring the small splats of water that were now on my old white t-shirt. One I wore often just because it smelt like him, one Logan thought was his I had stolen. Logan's I washed, this one just sat in my dresser and on nights like this, I pulled it out to wear.

Shaking my head, I grabbed my pretty sponge bob toothbrush and my favorite Aqua fresh toothpaste, stuff Logan thought was cheap and no good. He was a Colgate person...shaking my head, I begin to brush my teeth with more force than was probably needed. Once I felt somewhat clean, I swish some water and then mouth wash before spitting one last time . After that was done, I cleaned my mouth and face with a damp rag before grabbing my hair and putting it up in a messy bun. I looked liked crap or like I had cried more tears than was humanly possible. Both were how I felt so I decided to skip the make up.

Walking back out, I grab my keys, still unsure if I would walk or drive, and my bottled water. Shutting the door as quietly as possible, and I head down the stairs and away from all of this.

_Maybe one day when I can move along  
Maybe someday when you can hear this song  
You won't let it slip away_

_4 AM forever_

_And I'd wish the sun would never come  
It's 4 AM and you are gone_

I knocked on the door as hard as I could. He had to answer; we had to go, soon. He had to get Spinelli to trace this number and get the plane ready so we could go. We had to do this fast because I didn't want to wait a second longer then I had to. There was no way I was going to do that. No way.

"Open up, Jason, it's me!"

I yell through the door, and when it opens, I look at an angry Elizabeth, little miss perfect. I roll my eyes and shake my head, walking past her, yell up the stairs.

"JASON!"

I call again but when I feel a hand wrapped around my arm, I almost thought I was going to have to hit the mother of my best friend's son. Elizabeth and I had never seen eye to eye, which wasn't hard to explain. She thought she was perfect and I thought she was nothing but a two-bit tramp. I look at her and then at the hand on my arm before jerking it out of her hand.

"Carly, my son is upstairs, what in the hell do you need with Jason at 5 in the morning."

She says in a tone I have come to despise, that tone that said she was better then everyone and anyone in this town and there was no way she'd ever let anyone forget it. Taking a breath, I hold back my anger, knowing Jason wouldn't want me going off on her.

"Not that it is any of your business but I found something out and I need Jason's help. So either go get him or I'm going to yell again."

I tell her, keeping more of my anger from my voice, but I was still snappy. After all, it was who I was and who I was when I was with her. She had no idea how much of a bitch I could be, and now that my best friend, my sister's life was on the line, she had no idea what she was about to get herself into.

"Fine."

She says coldly and I am thankful she hadn't tried to fight me on this, but before she got up two steps, Jason was coming down, pulling the black t-shirt over his head. I give him a smile and rush over to him, grabbing his arms and pulling him down the steps, pushing Elizabeth out of the way as I do.

"Jason, Jason, you need to call Spinelli right away, like right now."

I tell him excitedly and try and pull my words together because after the rushed speech I gave Jax, who had been confused when I left at 5 o'clock in the morning. Definitely the earliest he had ever seen me up unless I hadn't gone to bed all night. I had to make Jason understand this or he'd never listen to me and without him, I'd get no where.

"Carly, it's early, so unless it is important, I'm going to let Spinelli sleep."

He was always the rational one but this was important, so I dug my cell phone from my pocket and pushed into his hand with a smile. Once he heard this, I knew he'd start on it right away, after all, even if him and Courtney were divorced, they held a place in their heart for each other. Not to mention, I still always had the hope they'd be smart and get back together, because even if they didn't see it, they were perfect for each other, but that wasn't the point. The point was that I had to find her and bring her back home where she belonged. Where her family was, where her son was, and where she would be safe from whoever did this.

"It's important, it's life and death Jason. Courtney's life or death."

I say in a rush, something that I had been sure I wouldn't do but this was too big to be rational, he'd figure it out. If anyone could figure me out when I was like this, it was Jason. He had a knack for it.

"Carly, Courtney died, almost 3 years ago, remember?"

He asks as if I was crazy, or drunk. It couldn't be either, but he didn't understand, but I'd make him understand. Cause I needed him for this, Sonny, Sonny wouldn't believe me, but I knew if I proved it, Jason would.

"No, no she's isn't dead Jason. Sh...She called me."

I say and I shake these damn tears away because tonight, or today, depending on who you talked too, was a day to be happy. I was getting my best friend back, my sister, and soon, my family would be complete and happy again.

"Tonight, Jason, she called me. She's in Canada, but she wasn't sure where, so you need to call Spinelli and have him trace the call from my home phone, got it."

I say and pushed my cell phone toward him and run a jerky hand through my hair. I spotted Elizabeth over his shoulder, looking pale as a ghost and I smirked to myself. She knew what that meant, soon Jason would dump her ass and find happiness where it always was for him, but then again, I couldn't get ahead of myself. Once Courtney was here, I would begin the plan to make this happen, until then I needed to wait.

"Call him Jason!"

I shout but he only continued to look at the phone, as if he was trying to get his head around my words.

_I hope you know you're letting go  
It's 4 AM and I'm alone_

* * *

_Why don't you hear me when I'm calling out to you (to you)  
Why don't you listen when I try to make it through (to you)_

I looked around the darkness and tried to get a bearing on where I was. I had been walking for a long time, too long, but at least I was away from the house. Taking a breath, I fall onto the bench, knowing I was in the park then. Where we had started that night so long ago. When I had thought he was crazy and trying to kill me. That was until I got to know him. Shaking my head at the memory, I opened my water and took a long swig, then look up at the stars after I put the cap back on. Wishing he was here with me.

After a few moments, I look around and decide to get up. Standing up, I start to head towards the way I came but before I get very far, I bump into someone in the darkness. I reached for my keys, and the small pepper spray he had bought me before he left a few months ago. I look up and I nearly faint, but instead I dropped my keys and I jump into waiting arms. Holding him as tight as I could.

"Oh god, for once...for once my wish came true."

I whisper as I wrapped my arms around his neck and hold on for dear life. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or if this was real but I didn't really care either way. He was here, I was here, and that was good enough for me.

"You better be glad I'm happy to see you, or I'd be yelling at you for being out here alone."

He mummers against my neck and I only smiled and leaned back to kiss him, putting all my emotions, bad and good, into the kiss. I feel his tongue tangling with mine. It felt like I was home, home finally.

_Goodbye, goodbye  
Goodbye, you never know  
Hold a little tighter_

* * *

_Why don't you hear me when I'm calling out to you (to you)  
__Why don't you listen when I try to make it through (to you)_

I look at the phone pressed in my hand and I sigh because none of this made sense. None of it all. Courtney was dead, I had been at the funeral, I had been there, and I had grieved for her. Watched my best friends grieve for her. None of this was real though. It couldn't be. I look at Carly and shake my head.

"This has to be a hoax Carly, Courtney is dead."

I tell her and when she looks at me, I wince. I could see the hurt and anger in her eyes. I knew she wasn't going to let this go. She couldn't because she was Carly and if she believed her best friend was out there, she'd do anything to make sure she came home.

"Fine, you know what, don't help me. I don't need it, I'll call Spinelli on my own, and then I'll go find Courtney. If something happens to me or her, oh well right, because she's supposedly already dead."

She says and she turns on her heal, I already knew what she was doing, she was trying to guilt me. She always knew that it worked on me and I hated that, but what could I do? I knew she'd make good on her threat. So it wasn't only guilt, it was a promise.

"Fine, I'll call, but if this isn't real, then we put it out of our mind."

I tell her and shake my head, knowing she was only going to get her heart broke again because there was no Courtney anymore. She was gone and everyone knew it. But in the back of my mind, I knew Carly knew the difference. If Courtney had called, if Carly had heard her voice, then what if it was true? What if Courtney was alive? What did that mean? What did it mean for Emily, Nikolas, Spencer, Carly, Sonny, Jax, and most important, me?

_Goodbye, goodbye  
Goodbye, you never know  
Hold a little tighter_

_4 AM forever..._


	4. Part 3: The Places You Have Come To

**Title**: Where'd You Go**  
Author**: AbayJ aka Ashley Marie**  
Disclaimer**: I own nada, song, The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most, belongs to the Dashboard Confessionals. Also, the transcript parts are from Journey Online.**  
Rating**: K to M**  
Genre**: Romance/Drama/Angst/Songfics/WIP/AU**  
Fandom(s)**: J-Lu & Journey (Hints: CarSon, CarJax, LuSam, Skate, Liason, LnL3, Jaxis, NiCo, Cassio, LnL2)**  
Archiving**: Just ask.**  
Summery**: Two couples deal with the reality's of life and how they can get past of so much pain and so many years of lies.**  
Author's Note**: Sorry for the delay. School, family, and computer trouble delayed me but I hope y'all enjoy this chapter. The next one will be a bit more interesting for the Journey side.**  
Author's Note Two**: This chapter has been revised and beta-ed. I just want to thank to Tiffany for all of her work. Thank you so much! All remaining mistakes are my own!

* * *

**Part Three: The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most**

_Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself  
And covered with a perfect shell  
Such a charming, beautiful exterior_

I took a deep breath as I listened to the other man on the phone. Spinelli was the best in the business and what he said when it came to finding things was usually right, but that didn't meant this didn't scare the shit out of me.

"Master, it would appear as if the Valkyrie is right in this situation."

He mummers and I take a deep breath and shake my head because this wasn't humanly impossible, people didn't die and then come back. Once they were dead, they were dead, right?

"Look pin point where it came from and call Sonny's pilot and have him standing by."

I tell him quietly and was about to hang up when I heard a voice.

"Master, is this about the second Mrs. Stone Cold?"

He asks and I almost hung up, but didn't, instead I took a deep breath and sighed.

"Yes Spinelli, it's about Courtney, the second Mrs. Stone Cold."

She was also the only woman I would ever marry, out of love anyway. Brenda's and my marriage had been a farce, a favor to Sonny and Brenda. It had been the only way.

"Wow, that bodacious blonde that you have the picture in the secret box of pain."

I close my eyes and decide to find another hiding spot for the box, Spinelli had probably seen the wedding pictures and I take a deep breath, ignoring the clench in my heart.

"Goodbye Spinelli."

I say quietly and quickly hang up the phone before he can say more. I turn to look up at Carly who had began to cry during some point and ran over to me, wrapping her arms tight around my neck. So tight I wasn't going to be able to breathe if she kept that up.

Sliding my head from around her arms, I point a finger at her.

"Listen to me, this isn't a sure thing, yet. Got it?"

I ask her quietly with a shake of my head.

"It is Jason; I can feel it, so let's go.

I shake my head again and grab her arm, leading her do the door and opening it.

"Go pack, tell Jax what you want, and be ready."

I say and then push her out the door and close it. Turning to face Elizabeth who looked like a deer trapped in headlights but then again that was her usually look. Shaking my head, I walk past her but stop when she grabs my arm.

"You aren't seriously going after a dead woman Jason, are you?

_Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes  
Perfect posture, but you're barely scraping by  
But you're barely scraping by _

* * *

_This is one time, this is one time_  
_That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone  
Or anyone at all...or anyone at all  
And the grave that you refuse to leave._

We slowly both pulled from the kiss and I sighed, looking up at him with a wide smile and slowly move my hand to cup his face.

"You're gorgeous."

I whisper softly and lean forward to kiss his lips once more. He returns the kiss before pushing me away gently.

"So are you, but we need to talk."

He whispers and grabs my hand, leading towards his yellow sports car, opening the door for me and unlike the first time, I don't hesitate; instead I slide right in with a smile. He shuts the door and runs to the other side to join me.

"What about?"

I ask once he was in the car and had started it up. I move over a bit so I was sitting next to him, my hand wrapping around his arm, while his hand worked the shift.

"My father."

I looked up at him surprised; I had thought he had handled that. I thought he had made sure his father would never be able to hurt us or get near us again, that was one thing that Johnny had promised.

"It would seem he is lucid again, enough to make decisions."

He says with a sigh and kicks the speed up again, that was normal. For some reason the speed gave him a freedom that not even I could provide and I reached over. Pressing the button on my door and letting the window come down and the air blow in my hair. I knew he wouldn't talk about this right now and I still wasn't sure if that was good or bad, but at that moment, I didn't care. He was here, with me and for now we were alone and safe. I laid my head on his shoulder and let him take us where he wanted.

_The refuge that you've built to flee  
The places that you've come to fear the most  
It's the place that you have come to fear the most_

* * *

_Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself  
And hidden in the public eye  
Such a stellar monument to loneliness_

I walked into my home and look towards the stairs, where my husband and boys slept peacefully, as if nothing mattered at the moment. Taking a breath, I head up them and opened the door, walking and trying to be as quite as I could. For some reason I hoped he wouldn't wake so I could leave a note instead of having to actually tell him about this. About my best friend, his ex-wife, coming back from the dead. It was too difficult and I'd rather write it, after all, I would be telling Courtney soon enough.

But as soon as I opened the closet, I was damned.

"Carly, is that you..."

He mummers and sits up with a sigh, reaching for the lamp and flicking on the light and I turn my head and give him a slight smile.

"Yeah, um, I think we need to talk."

I say and walk over to the bed, leaving the closet door with my duffel bag near, and sitting on the bed next to him. I sigh softly and reach for his hand and he gave me a worried look as if he knew what I would say and he should be.

"Courtney is alive and me and Jason are going to go find her."

He looked at me, first in shock and then as if I had grown another head, but I could only shake my head.

"It's true, I got a call this morning, that was why I wanted to stay up, I knew something was going on Jax, I knew it!"

I tell him, feeling a smile form on my lips. I knew Courtney and me would find what we always had. A deep understanding of each other, a true bond.

"Carly, I saw Courtney die. I watched it."

He whispers and reachs for me but I shake away. How could he say that? Didn't he believe me? Courtney was alive and Jason may doubt it but at least he was going to go find her with me to be proved wrong but Jax hadn't even offered.

"Shut up, she is alive, okay...I know she is."

I say and get up, walking over to the closet again and grab my duffel bag. Walking in and pulling out a couple outfits and then go into the back of my closet, finding a jogging suit. Throwing that in for Courtney before turning around and looking back at Jax. He was still looking me at with disbelief.

"Look, you don't have to believe me, but I'm going."

I said to him with a shake of my head and move to the bathroom and grabbed my bag of make up, perfume, and other essentials. Throwing it into the bag, I grab my medication and throw that as well. Grabbing an extra brush and toothbrush for Courtney as well as some first aide kits and few other little essentials she may need. Then I walk over to my desk that was in the room and grab the latest picture of Spencer. He had just turned 4 and he was beautiful, just like his mother. I smile and put that in my bag as well.

"Carly...you...you can't believe this."

That stops me in my track for some reason and I turn to him and shake my head.

"I do and I am bringing her home."

I tell him coldly and shake my head.

"And you can't and you won't stop me."

I tell him and grab my bag and walk down the stairs and out. He was a fool but that didn't bother me, because I knew somewhere my best friend was waiting for me, and soon she'd be home with her family. Right now, that was all that mattered. Everything else, I was sure, would work itself out.

_Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes  
Perfect make-up, but you're barely scraping by  
But you're barely scraping by..._

* * *

_Well this is one time, well this is one time  
That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone  
Or anyone at all...or anyone at all  
And the grave that you refuse to leave_

I look down at the small hand and shake my head. I slowly pull it out of her grasp though I wanted to wrench it out and I open the closet, grabbing the bag I always had ready.

"I need to go meet Carly, or she'll be back."

I say quietly and pull out my leather coat and look up at the box, feeling a flash of memories flooding back.

_She had looked beautiful, hair up and the dress fitting like a glove but my eyes had been on hers. Bright blue filled with happiness I thought was wasted on me. I reached for her hands and she smiled. Smiled with all the love I felt for her and she felt for me and at that moment I knew that was all that would ever matter for the rest of my life. To make her smile like that everyday. To make her wake up and go to sleep with that smile. _

_"You -- You look beautiful."_

_I some how managed to say and she rewarded me with another smile._

_"God, the flowers, the sunset -- everything is perfect."_

_I smiled and I still didn't look at anything but her, even as she looked at everything around us. My eyes were on her and how beautiful she was. How she was about to become mine for the rest of my life._

_"I tried to give you everything you want."_

_I whispered but somewhere along the line, that had changed. My wants, her needs, and our love all got tangled up and it seemed as if we weren't able to fix it that time or the time after that. To many people, actions, and commitments tearing us apart until we were nothing and I lost sight of what I promised to do. What I promised her and us. To love and cherish her until I died._

"Jason, Jason, Jason dammit talk to me!"

I felt the hand on my arm again and I turned to look at her with a sigh.

"You can't go, it could be dangerous. Think of Jake and me."

She whispered and I shook my head again.

"I promised Carly."

And I shook her hand from me again and walked out the door and to some great unknown that was scary for more then one reason. Reasons I wasn't about to let myself think about.

_The refuge that you've built to flee  
The places that you've come to fear the most  
It's the place that you have come to fear the most_

* * *

_And you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone  
Or anyone at all..or anyone at all  
And the grave that you refuse to leave  
The refuge that you've built to flee_

"What are you going to do?"

I whispered, finally breaking the silence. Some where along the line we wound up near our place. The first place we made love, where I taken care of him, where we formed a bond not even my marriage and his father could break. Where our love had grown and blossomed and became the only beautiful things in our life.

"About my father?"

He asks softly and looks down at me and gives me a rare smile.

"Keep you safe no matter what."

He whispered and then got out of the car and came over to my side, reaching for my hand and grabbing it with his. I go willingly and we head towards the Haunted Store. I pull out the key and hand it to him. He opens the door and we both walk inside. We had made a few changes to it; thankfully my father was never in town long enough to notice and my stepmother could care less about the wreck.

There was a couch in the middle, across from the baby grand, along with a TV off to the side. There was also a little toaster oven and little burner by the bar so we didn't have to use that huge kitchen behind it. He left my side and I walked behind the bar, pouring him a scotch and me and brandy as he opened the sunroof and let the moon hit the piano. I smirked and looked over at him.

"Remember when we spent the night on top of that?"

I ask with a giggle as he walked back over to me and dropped a kiss on my head. Talk of his father erased from our minds as we basked in the moonlight and the aloneness only this place offered us.

"Remember? I think I still have that bruise you..."

I hit him softly with my hand before he can continue and shake my head.

"I do believe that position had been YOUR idea..."

I tease and we both walked from behind the bar to the couch and he topples on it before I do and I land with my legs in his lap. Just staring at the man I truly believe would be the only one I would ever love.

"You were more the willing..."

He smirks and I melt. He had that affect on me and I imagined my mother had the same feeling when my father smiled at her. Johnny and my father weren't so different. Sure Johnny had money while my father never did and sure they had different backgrounds but they had the same love for danger and adventure and that was why I was so drawn to him. The unknown, the unknown all Spencer's craved.

"I will always be willing..."

I whisper and I dropped my drink to the floor and move so I could crawl into his lap.

"I love you..."

I whispered before I took his lips with mine, his lips opening for my tongue immediately and I slowly deepened the kiss as my hands wondered to the front of his shirt, undoing each button with care.

"I love you too Bella Mia...more then you'll ever know."

He whispered and I sighed as we continue to find our passion in the kiss.

_The places that you've come to fear the most  
It's the place that you've come to fear the most  
It's the place that you have come to fear the most_


	5. Part 4: Hold Me

**Title**: Where'd You Go  
**Author**: AbayJ aka Ashley Marie  
**Disclaimer**: I own nada, song, The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most, belongs to the Dashboard Confessionals. Also, the transcript parts are from Journey Online.  
**Rating**: K to M  
**Genre**: Romance/Drama/Angst/Songfics/WIP/AU  
**Fandom(s)**: J-Lu & Journey (Hints: CarSon, CarJax, LuSam, Skate, Liason, LnL3, Jaxis, NiCo, Cassio, LnL2)  
**Archiving**: Just ask.  
**Summery**: Two couples deal with the reality's of life and how they can get past of so much pain and so many years of lies.  
**Author's Note**: Finally, the Journey reunion! If only in real life...sigh. Anyways, enjoy this chapter, hopefully the next one won't take so long to get to you guys. My fault, life suck, then you die. :) A BIG thank you to Tiffany for beta-ing this chapter for me! Thanks so much! Remember read and view y'all!

* * *

**Part Four: Hold Me**

_If we can't find a way out of these problems  
Then maybe we don't need this  
Standing face to face  
Enemies at war we build defenses  
And secret hiding places_

I slowly lift my head off his chest and look at him. He looked so peaceful, sleeping there. I slowly run my hand up his chest to his face and brush my thumb against his cheek. Taking a breath, I stand up and grab his shirt that we had discarded sometime along the way and slide it on. Sighing as its softness covers me and his scent engulfs me.

Walking over to the bar, I picked up a glass and pour some cheap wine my father kept here. Taking a slow slip, I let my eyes wander back to him.

"OH!"

I say loudly and he smirks. Somehow I hadn't heard him sit up or felt him staring at me.

"My shirt looks a lot better on you then on me."

He says and reaches his arms up and slides them behind his head and I felt my heart trip over itself. Shaking my head, I take another sip of the wine, and I walk over to him, sitting next to him. He reaches up and takes the glass out of my hand. Taking a slow sip from where my mouth had been.

"I happen to think so too, because I'd rather see you without one."

I say as he takes a sip and I lean down, placing a soft kiss on his bare chest, my eyes lifting to look towards his. They connect and I was ready for him. As if I had been waiting for that look since I became a woman. No man affected me the way he did.

"You better stop or else we may not be able too..."

He whispered and slid his hand into my hair. I only smiled and slowly trailed my lips lower and over his firm abs, feeling them tremble beneath my lips.

_I might need you to hold me tonight  
I might need you to say it's alright  
I might need you to make the first stand  
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man_

* * *

_Hey  
More than angry words I hate this silence  
It's getting so loud  
Well I want to scream  
But bitterness has silenced these emotions_

I looked around and sighed. What in the hell was I doing here? But then again, it seemed like the safest place at the time. I felt eyes covering my body quickly and I nearly gagged. They all felt dirty, as if they were undressing me. Taking the back booth, I huddle into it and look at the waitress, if that was what you wanted to call her. Taking a breath I picked up the plastic menu, I see they didn't offer a lot. Less then Kelly's and I felt my stomach growl. It wasn't as if I could be picky, so I glanced up at her.

"Um, can I get the side salad and just a coffee and water."

I ask and she nods and smacks her gum before walking away, smirking, I long for the service of Kelly's. Even Elizabeth's when she had hated me had been better than hers. Shaking my head, I replay the words Carly had said and I believed her. Believed she would be coming after me. With who, I wasn't sure. The choices were large; there was Jason, Sonny, or even Jax. Either way, I didn't care., I just wanted to get home, to my son, to my family, where I belonged. Taking a breath, I lean back against the booth, holding up the thumb size photo of my son. He looked liked his father, had the strong cheekbones, the coloring, and his beautiful hair.

Tears sting the back of my eyes but I knew soon he'd be back with me. Where he belonged. Taking another breath, I look up at the waitress who slides my food and drinks to me.

"Buck up sweetie, you're bringing down the atmosphere."

She mutters before sashaying off once more. I just shake my head, praying Carly gets here soon. I needed to go back, I needed to get to my son before I lost him forever. Closing my eyes, I take a few steadying breaths and then open them and begin to eat. Focusing on just my movements.

_It's getting hard to breathe  
So tell me isn't happiness  
Worth more than a golden diamond ring?  
I'm willing to do anything  
To calm the storm in my heart_

* * *

_I've never been the praying kind_  
_But lately I've been down upon my knees_  
_Not looking for a miracle_  
_Just a reason to believe_

"How much farther?"

she asked me for the fourth time and I took a breath, deciding to ignore the question. We were closer, closer then we had been five minutes ago, and she could figure that out herself. I knew we were closer than ever before because I felt her, whenever she was near, I knew. We had always had this connection. It was how we knew how to protect each other and even after all these years, I knew I was close to her. She was alive.

"Jason? Helloooo..."

She calls and waves a hand in my face. Knocking it away, I stand up and go the bar that was on the plane and pour myself a drink, taking a long sip.

"Yes Carly, we're almost there,"

I mummer and set the drink glass down and turn to her. Walking back to my seat and propping my feet up on the table in front of me. Closing my eyes, trying to figure out how we were all going to deal with this. How would anything stay the same now that Courtney was alive? Didn't Carly wonder about how her marriage, an invalid marriage, would survive Courtney coming back? It would change who Spencer's mother was and Nikolas and Emily's relationship. It would change everything.

"We're starting to land."

I heard the voice and it interrupted my thoughts. I knew we would deal, was all we could do and I should be happy, because the woman that made so many people happy wasn't dead. Instead she was very much alive, now if only that pesky voice inside my head would stop asking the same question over and over again. _'What would happen to me?'_

"Here we go Jason, we're going to get Courtney back!"

Carly said happily and I felt a weariness come over me with her words, because the answer to my question was in her words. I was going to get Courtney back.

_I might need you to hold me tonight_  
_I might need you to say it's alright_  
_I might need you to make the first stand_  
_Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man_

* * *

_Do you remember not long ago?_  
_When we used to live for the nighttime_  
_Cherish each moment_

I took a breath and looked down at him once more. He wasn't asleep but he seemed to be going into that dark place he went so often and instead of probing, I reached for my underwear, pants, and his shirt and slide them on. Walking around to the bar, I grabbed two bottles of water and walk back around, throwing one at him before curling up on the long bench that wasn't far off.

"When will you be to get away again?"

He asked and I jerk my head up. I didn't know honestly, the next time Logan went out? The next time when he'd be to drunk to notice I was missing and not to come looking for me. I shake my head and take a long sip of the water, setting it down before looking at him.

"I don't know, soon though."

I mummer and lean my head on my knees and look over at him with a smile.

"You?"

I ask and before he opened his mouth, I heard a crash and I jumped up. Johnny was already up and reaching for his gun.

"Whose there?"

He called out but when nothing came back, he held up his hand and went towards the sound. I grabbed the nearest thing, an empty wine bottle and I held it up but before I could use it, I felt a hand coming over my mouth.

"You lying whore..."

I heard the whisper and I tried to pull away but I couldn't. Instead, I opened my mouth and bit down hard on his hand and he screamed and let me go. Pulling away, I ran and found Johnny's pocketknife and flipping it open; I turned around to see Logan. A drunken smile plastered to his face.

I shook my head, thinking this was a dream and I let my arm go limp.

"Logan, what in the hell are you doing here!?"

I yell at him and I heard, well more like felt Johnny come back into the room.

"What, didn't you think I knew you were fucking this punk? God, just like your mother, a lying whore!"

I look at him in surprised, not because I was shocked at his words, but because he had said them in front of Johnny. But before I could come back at him, I felt the wind brush past me and saw Johnny's body flying past me and reaching for Logan's neck.

_Now we don't live we exist_  
_We just run through our lives_  
_So alone_  
_That's why you've got to hold me_

* * *

_Hey_  
_If we can't find a way out of these problems_  
_Then maybe we don't need this_  
_Standing face to face_  
_Enemies at war we build defences_  
_And secret hiding places_

I took a breath as we stepped out of the car at the payphone where Carly had gotten the call. There were a few pubs she could have gone into and I decide it was best if Carly and I split up and call each other once we find her. She took the right and I took the left. Walking into the first one, I cringed at the smoke and acid taste and I stopped at the bar. Pulling out a well worn picture of our wedding, showing it to him. "Have you seen her?" I asked and he pointed to a made up woman. I nodded and went towards her.

"Hey handsome...need something?"

She asked with a fake smile that nearly blinding me with the rainbow red lipstick. I just nodded and showed her the picture.

"Aw, to bad, married huh?"

I just nodded once more.

"Have you seen her?"

I asked and she nodded.

"Yeah, the cute blond. She looks a bit older and the hair is longer but she's in the back booth."

She said.

"Thanks."

I tell her quickly and headed towards the booth and when I spotted her, our eyes locked and it was everything was in slow motion. One minute she was slowly getting up and the next she was in my arms. I held her tight and breathed her in. Forgetting where we were, forgetting the time, forgetting everything but the feeling of her in my arms again.

"Courtney."

I breathed and when she pulled back, I saw the tears.

"I knew you'd come for me, I knew you would."

She whispers and falls into my arms again and everything disappear. It was just the two of us again.

_I might need you to hold me tonight  
I might need you to say it's alright  
I might need you to make the first stand  
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man_


End file.
